It never fails. Cultural misconceptions and discombobulations while on vacation in a strange new land. Certain mores and customs just never quite make it past the borders and thus, puzzle visitors and incite gales of laughter. This is who we are as humans. We find hilarity in our differences and base most of our humour on the fact that other people are not like us.
So what better way to ingratiate yourself to locals than to mock them? In particular the signs that line their roads, museums, landmarks and parks and prove impossible to decipher and translate. Our fourth installment of weird and wacky signs around the world takes a stab at doing just that.
We thought China’s goal was to increase tourism in anticipation of the Summer Games in Beijing. Surely this type of rampant municipal paranoia can only have the converse effect. Imagine your dismay as you attempt to stroll casually through this park in Beijing and instead, come across a sign that harkens back to the iron rule of Mao. No taxis, motorcycles and rifles? Strange, needless even, but a reasonable request nonetheless. But for the love of God, no trombones?
Road sign in rural Quebec, Canada
Rural Quebec is a strange land, with strange road signs. Take for example this one, which exhorts drivers in French to “watch out for our children, because it could be one of yours”. “It” being presumably, the child that you run over with your car. Which begs the question, why on Earth does the sign depict a child in the ideal position in which to become the victim of vehicular manslaughter?
Montreal may not be devoid of weird road signs but the city is one of the most hospitable for tourism.
This sign in a nondescript region of Middle America has a major problem. If indeed, this area is rife with incompetent bi-plane pilots whose veins course with moonshine they made in cornfield stills, is it wise to have roads in the first place? Should the entire region not be devoid of motor vehicles to begin with? Or better yet, declare the area a no-fly zone and ban marriages between cousins and the production of homemade hooch.
Sign on the Badaling pass of The Great Wall of China
How unbelievably cautious is China? Is distress over the prospect of bad publicity because of the poor judgement of one crapulous tourist so dire that they need to erect such overprotective signs? This borders on the ridiculous. Don’t stretch out your arms? Or what? Rattan thrashes from post-pubescent Wall guards?
Small town road sign in rural America
Once again the simple stupidity of rural America proves reliable as a target of derision. Road humps? Does it now? What kind of roads do they have in this town? Why do we have the suspicion that “Road” is a large inbred hillbilly with very few teeth and a perverse affection for lost motorists?
Other than China, Scandinavia takes the proverbial cake when it comes to signs that imply possible retardation. In this case, either Finland is under attack from undead cannibals or this particular town has a problem with thin ice. We doubt very much that it could be the latter, otherwise town officials would not have made a sign that could so easily draw comparisons to zombies.
Kenya is known as a land of national parks and safaris, wild animals and pristine landscapes. We had no idea however, that it was a nation where the warthog has supreme governance. Over children no less. Which begs the question. Why did the warthog cross the road?
This macabre sign in Cambodia seems to indicate a few scary truths. One, people there have a propensity for toilet levitation. Two, hygiene is not a guarantee when you seek a comfortable haven in which to void your bowels. Three, avoid going to the bathroom in Cambodia.
The city of Tallinn is on the rise, with a high relative quality of life for residents, a wonderful World Heritage Old Town and economy with potential. What the city lacks however, is a road sign-maker with common sense. There are many ways to deter pedestrians from entry to areas that are perhaps under construction, dangerous and in disrepair. A massive arrow to the pelvic region is not one of them.
This is a situation where the sign is the punchline. Where to begin? First of all, do Swedish men carry purses or is that trend a Stockholm phenomenon? Second, how to interpret the cat sign? There is no crosswalk under paw, so does that give motorists free reign to have at them, pedal to the medal and let the fur fly? And why no tail on the mother cat? Creative Scandinavian license?
Sign in Santa Cruz, California
California is on the Left Coast and as such, boasts some of the most bizarre denizens in the United States. Forward thinkers, tree huggers, vegans, quasi-yogis and … goblins? How else to describe these freakish elf-children that seem to have sprung out of a C.S. Lewis novel? Why are their heads so grotesquely huge in comparison to their teeny hands and feet? That’s it. We’re definitely never going to Santa Cruz.
Once again, China just wants to spoil all our fun. What can you do in a park in China? Intake oxygen? Stand? Think? This sign is notable for two reasons. One, the pictograms that indicate the fun you certainly cannot have here. Second, the ubiquitous fuzzy translation. “Tiny grass is smiling to you?” Are you serious? That corny, syrupy sweet statement makes us want to trample grass underfoot with a destructive force unseen since the Biblical plague of locusts. Last but not least, is there one park in China where you can play soccer? Really now.
If you want to flaunt civic laws in Beijing out of spite, at least make sure you have a sweet hotel in the new Olympic city.
These signs are great! Very amusing.
hahaha thank u sooo much for putting these upp. i literally started crying from laughter. that made my day