Our first foray into the world of “China English” signs was so much fun, we just could not resist a second look. The fact of the matter is that this is a topic with an apparently endless amount of fodder. For people who visit China and read English of course, one of the unwritten pleasures is to read road, shop and landmark signs everywhere, have a good chuckle and snap a photo.
While we have glibly called for a review of China’s translation practices, part of us, and this seems to be the case with most tourists across the board, would hate to see signs in perfect, grammatically flawless English. After all, most signs are now so bad, so poor and so out there, that as a collective, they contribute to the inherent charm of the country. So much like the hilarity of Japanese “Engrish” signs, we secretly hope that the absurdity of “China English” remains as is.
1. Unusual product sign in Hangzhou
Add another product to a long list of foods we probably do not want to eat in China. First of all, we get enough bran in our diet. But even more importantly, we want to stave off cyclones, not incite them.
2. Unfortunate pool room sign in Tianjin
Really, this sign speaks for itself. We wonder if regular Chinese patrons are constantly confused as to why more Western tourists don’t stop by to shoot some pool.
We adore Chinese food, despite previous sarcastic remarks to the contrary. Not the overly sweet and fatty Western version however, but the real deal. The authentic stuff. Of course, no other delicacy can compare to the sensorial delights of ”panfried dork chop with watnut sauce”. As every good chef knows, the chop is the best cut of the dork.
We know China has a somewhat shady reputation for treatment of the mentally ill. This sign provides visitors with some insight into where the country stands. No “psychotic and dementia”? What? First of all, we’re not even sure the aforementioned groups would be aware of their conditions and heed the sign. Second of all, how would train officials even know?
Intent to capitalize on the trend of coffeeshops worldwide, China has gone mad for the beverage. This coffeeshop however, seems to be a little lost. We prefer our coffee without iron, thank you very much.
Apparently, the presence of the “f” word on signs all over China is rather normal. A recurrent problem with translation from characters to English it seems. Be that as it may, we will probably pass on the eggplant at this restaurant in Suzhou.
Maybe they should change this sign to read: “If you’re close enough to read this sign, run for your life!” We would rather not notice a deadly rockslide, though we appreciate the offer to do so.
In another unfortunate sexual reference, this sign on Tianjin’s boardwalk will probably lead to many arrests. At least if you follow the directions however, you won’t get crushed to death by a rockslide.
9. Restaurant menu in Tianjin
Last but not least, the cream of the crop. “Wood should be meat”! Really? Should it? Maybe for beavers but holy cow, for humans. Waiter, please hold the cedar chips … thanks.
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Photo credits: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
Haha, I always get a kick out of these.
Oh my gosh- those are too funny!
# 9 was the funniest. The second gem of advice is funny. It’s a paradox.