If you love a great hamburger and are looking for a chance of pace, a visit to the Heart Attack Grill in Chandler, Arizona may be just what the doctor called for. That change of pace may involve a trip to the emergency room after you’ve finished your meal – but what’s a few hours on a gurney to someone who’s just had the most incredible burger of his life?

The Menu at the Heart Attack Grill

The Heart Attack Grill is, of course, well known amongst beef lovers for its simplistic yet decadent menu. Visitors have only a handful of options to choose from and should be willing to use up an entire week’s worth of calories before finishing a meal here. The Single Bypass Burger features one beef patty, cheese, sauces, onions, and tomatoes.

The amount of beef you choose to eat can only go up from there, including the 2-patty Double Bypass Burger, the 3-patty Triple Bypass Burger, and the 4-patty Quadruple Bypass Burger. We honestly don’t know how you could get anything more than the double into your mouth, but the choice is completely up to you. For reference, the Quadruple Bypass Burger contains an astounding 2 pounds of beef, 12 slices of bacon, 4 triple-thick slices of bacon, an entire tomato, and almost half an onion.

Flatliner Fries cooked in sizzling hot pure lard line the menu alongside of colas with the highest caffeine content on earth. They also serve three different types of beer and sell three different types of cigarettes as well.

Nurses on Site at the Heart Attack Grill

All of the staff “nurses” at the Heart Attack Grill are ready and waiting to help you through your meal. In uniforms that resemble a cross between an actual nurse on Halloween and a Hooter’s girl, the waitresses at the restaurant are – well – attentive. They’ll even push your wheelchair out to your car when you’re through, if need be.

Girls be warned – don’t apply for a job here unless you’re willing to wear a revealing shirt, a skirt that would make your grandmother turn over in her grave, and heels that no normal woman should wear outside of her home for more than an hour at a time, let alone work in. Despite the costumes, the theme remains professional and fun at the same time. Anyone willing to eat a triple or quadruple bypass burger deserves something nice to look at before he dies, anyway.

The Heart Attack Grill has had some legal trouble surrounding its staff of “nurses.” Back in 2006, the Arizona State Nursing Board solicited the advice of the Assistant Attorney General in Phoenix, Arizona. The Assistant Attorney General wrote a letter to the owner of the Heart Attack Grill concerning complaints he had received concerning the use of the term “nurse,” which legally can only be used when referring to a licensed medical practitioner. The Heart Attack Grill must have come to some sort of compromise with the state and the nursing board, as the word “nurse” still appears in all of their advertisements, but with a disclaimer stating that, “The Government Requires Us To Inform You That Our ?Nurses’ Do Not Actually Have Any Accredited Medical Training.” Big shocker there – anyone with medical training would run as far as possible from this menu!

The Heart Attack Grill in the News

The Heart Attack Grill has gained notoriety for its incredibly large burgers and because of its truly unique and off the wall themed entertainment. The restaurant, owned by “Dr. Jon,” has been featured internationally with spots on Japanese, French, and American news networks. Even Rush Limbaugh and Geraldo Rivera have jumped on the Heart Attack Grill bandwagon.

The nursing industry is up in arms – complaining that the atmosphere degrades their profession by mixing sexual fantasy and bad-for-you junk food. The owner feels as though he’s catering to his public, and the waitresses love the attention and tips they receive while role-playing in the safe atmosphere of a local burger joint.

Join the Club at the Heart Attack Grill

Think just eating the Quadruple Bypass Burger sounds like a chore? Imagine trying to break the local record. On the Heart Attack Grill website you’ll find a list containing the names and characitures of 100 men who have eaten the Quadruple Bypass Burger and their finishing times, ranging from 1 minute and 47 seconds up to 1 hour, 47 minutes, and 23 seconds.

We take that back – 99 men and one woman. Dr. Jon’s nurse, the astounding 90-pound Catarina Andorfer, can eat the Quadruple Bypass Burger in 8 minutes and 26 seconds!

Despite what you may have heard in the media, the Heart Attack Grill is a fun place to go. Even Hooters got off to a rocky start and, while most women seem too bright to even attempt the menu, the restaurant playfully caters to the innocent musings of the daily businessmen who visit for lunch on a regular basis. No hanky panky here. And as for the burgers? They taste amazing!